literature

The Moon Cried

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Piscea's avatar
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Literature Text

In this river I float.
Gently, silently,
I watched the black sky.
The moon cried.

In this river I swim.
Caught the breath of life.
Freezing, I swim.
The moon cried.

In this river I drown.
And you pulling me down.
Caught the breath of life.
To struggle is to live.
So I let myself drown.
Gently.
Silently.
The moon
Cried.
the emotional moon cried on my depressive state..
© 2010 - 2024 Piscea
Comments2
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ProfessorPhenom's avatar
I think the poem is rather beautiful but there some things I don't understand about it. Every line in the second verse is said in present tense except "The moon cried." and "Caught the breath of life." Why are those two phrases past tense? And there is also a line in the third verse that is solely past tense. I think that the mingling of present and past tense somewhat throws off the flow of the poem and that it should either be all present tense or all past tense. Just a thought.

Life in this poem, if I'm not mistaken, is a metaphor for happiness and the river is sorrow, so it's a struggle to be happy so you let yourself be overcome by the sorrow. Am I interpreting it correctly?

In any event, it's very beautiful. I'd say worthy of one more verse.