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Silent ScreamIt was dim and dark
yet comfort, I felt.
in this darkness.
In this loveliness,
waiting to come out.
Waiting to see you
Though I cannot see,
I feel your touch,
behind these walls.
And I cannot wait
to be with you
And I wanted to escape.
But then I felt her fingers,
clutching, feeling, blocking
And as she placed inside
a thing that I don't know
and then I tried to hide,
As the poison dissolves.
I want my Daddy.
I tried to choke,
they cannot feel,
they cannot hear,
my silent scream,
and it's eating me
My heart stops.
I want Daddy.
I fade away.
A rush of blood.
They still can't feel
Why d'you have to kill me?
Why do it now?
Why can't you hear me?
Am I unloved?
As I float my way to heaven
up, up, I fly
thinking of my Daddy
I am unloved.
They will never miss
they will never see
They're the lucky ones
who did not
FlyTry as I might
I ended up falling...
falling and falling
that you will catch me
from deus ex machina
but I keep on falling
day after day.
Faced down I landed
on the muddy rocky bottom,
shattered pieces of my heart
scattered on my bosom.
I stood up willing to try again;
climbed the peaks,
on the edge,
Feeling the breeze
as I leap on the edge.
Starting to fall
all over again.
"A happy thought",
Peter Pan once said.
A memory, a face
of you in my head.
Such magic engulfed me!
Then I began to float.
on my mental note.
The mid-air breeze
against my hair and skin,
as I play on the clouds,
What Happiness can bring!
You needed not to catch me anymore.
I needed not to fall again on the floor.
Trying to die;
Dying to try
`cause now I know,
you taught me how to fly.
Scene From An Old MovieShe can only admire him from afar,
and that's the way it has to be.
The complexities of all the facts.
The emotions maybe unreal.
Even though it's just infatuation,
the limitations must be kept.
For she knows that he will hurt her,
from the moment that they met.
His sweetness are all true.
Her happiness cannot be denied.
They've been friends, for all they knew,
so attraction must be kept aside.
And now she's lonely, for it cannot be
to show her feelings of unrest.
And maybe he knew it, for all he care
she is nothing of his interest.
The game of love has not begun,
however, she already lost.
Their friendship is the only thing,
that they should treasure most.
Evening StarAs your blood rushes through my veins,
rose-colored petals snowed.
The endless waltz of my dreams
viewed across this sunset
and you, my evening star shines my way.
My moon illumines through your misty skies,
the tenderness of your luscious kiss
covering, sheltering me from life.
And no, I don't want to escape
from the warm nest of your shoulders.
My evening star, my love.
You stabbed me with your silver arrows,
and forever blinding me with your light.
Suppressed from freedom,
I lose myself to you,
engulf me whole my darling
The Moon CriedIn this river I float.
I watched the black sky.
The moon cried.
In this river I swim.
Caught the breath of life.
Freezing, I swim.
The moon cried.
In this river I drown.
And you pulling me down.
Caught the breath of life.
To struggle is to live.
So I let myself drown.
Purple RoomThe stillness of the purple room,
the hazy mid-afternoon breeze,
touched our naked skin,
as we lose ourselves into each others arms.
Every deep breaths of I love yous,
As you sincerely gaze upon my tormented soul,
For each blessed moment I die and live..
Longing for you,
needing your touch,
drowning every loving second of your words.
My disrupt bleak solitude,
rests by the nearness of you.
So bleed for me my lovely depression,
as we dance to this bittersweet waltz,
don't let go, as we swirl, heedlingly we bend.
My taboo love.
Beware Of The Bad BoySo he touches you in all of the right places
But with a clenched fist and not a gentle hand
By ‘right places’ I mean those easily hidden
By the latest expensive designer brand
Which he buys you to either keep your silence
Or to beg and to plead for your forgiveness
Is this where the attraction of a bad boy lies?
Please explain where is the excitement in this?
So he kisses you with a so-called passion
His hands round your neck steal a two letter word
It seems that he cannot feel satisfaction
Unless you show him signs that his dominance hurts
Which he tightens each time to keep your silence
Or maybe he just enjoys hearing you moan
Is this the deed of some stalker, some stranger?
No, this is your husband and this is your home
So he lays you out on the living room floor
I wonder what will fall down to the carpet first
The drops of blood from between your legs
Or the tears flowing between his regretful words
Which he whispers in your ear as you lay silent
It’s safe to say
The Villain (Bye Bye Mr. Nice Guy)I am desperately seeking someone to save me
Wondering where I have been going wrong
The more I allow myself to be walked over
The more I feel like it’s where I belong
Under the tread marks of your rubber soled shoe
My face has been driven in to the mud
You’ve laced my dignity with so much self doubt
What on earth have I gained from being good
I am desperately seeking something to save me
The next line to the poem of my life
Dissecting my past with clinical precision
Using a pen-shaped surgical knife
With a blade that seems to cut deeper and deeper
Each time that I am wounded or I am hurt
But maybe now is the time to put down my pen
And distribute my anger with more than words
I am desperately seeking something to save me
I feel I’m on the cusp of a rebirth
I will take centre stage and leave you in the wings
There is no more time left to rehearse
I have stiffened the sinews, I have summoned the blood
I face my fears and I’ve made a decision
I can be strong, I can
WordsIt’s when I get my thoughts to rhyme
That I can truly start to see
What has been swirling in my mind,
And then I get to set it free.
A turmoil of chaotic calls
Becomes a desperate, pleading choir
Of thousands of tangled words
Awaiting me to help them thrive.
They cry, and weep, and beg like kids,
Won’t let me drown myself in sleep
Until I give them what they need –
A string of rhythm and sense to grip.
I strive and strive to make them speak
And give them a melodic vibe.
Yet their presence is too weak,
I'm losing hope that they'll survive.
But after stumbling time and time
Again to let them slip away
I start to hear their chime.
I start to see them find a way.
So one by one and step by step
I see them coming up to me.
They join to spin a magic web –
My soul’s true epitome.
And that’s the place they shall remain,
In subtle, fearless accord.
I never thought that I could tame
Such mischievous, capricious words.
So now I’m pacing back and forth
DethronedDelicate fingertips were once against my cheek,
as were the smiles that you so affectionately cast towards me.
But then you tossed me into the gaping sea,
and I am no longer a beloved queen to thee.
Sweet Music MelodySweet Music Melody lend a mid-night dance to me
Oh what tender lips are these that lay sweet kisses on my cheeks
Making my bashful heart sing...sing...sing
Sweet Music Melody lend a mid-night song to me
Oh what beautiful notes your voice is to a lover's song
beckoning a drifting soul home sweet home
Sweet Music Melody never let your music end
Play your seductive heart's song again and again
Step by step, song by song, you and I are forever one
She Does Not Love YouDo not hear
Her glorious speech
Pretend to be deaf.
Elude her hair
Dancing in the air
Don’t think about
Those sunny eyes
Knowing your past
With just one look.
Avoid her laugh
A melody of harp
Played by angels.
She’s hurting you
Giving you false
When she reveals
All her evil plan
You will be broken
Thinking about suicide.
Bury the memories
With you by her side
Even if they are
The best times
Of your life.
Writer's ProblemsThis pen feels,
So right in my hand.
With the ability,
To do what only I can.
Ideas fly from my mind,
In a manner, distraught.
But they stick to my pen,
Writers with their problems,
Ideas with their wings.
But take your imagination,
And shoot down the damn things
Winds Of TimeThe cool winds of time change from day to day
Yesterday to soon turns into tomorrow
But today is never twice the same
And in heavenly stars I search, but I have yet to find my way
Still, as time continues to march on, my soul can find no resting place
In the mist of this violent quake
Of many dimensions of being I lies awake
Until the hours of dark meet a brilliant day break
leaving me to, once again ponder an uncertain fate
The Coffee GodThe Coffee God behind the counter shuffles foot to foot, a dance of steam and espresso. Black painted fingernails, inch gauged ears and a gray striped sweatshirt, hood crooked on his back. There's a cigarette tucked behind one ear; it bobs and twitches with each step.
“Non-fat caramel latte,” he calls, just as he always does, part of a spell, part of a mantra, toneless (just a tuck at the end). I reach. He looks up.
The espresso maker hisses.
There's something like a grin, something like a spark, something like a shared secret linked eye to eye. When he passes over the drink (rough cardboard sleeve hot to the touch), he lingers. Our fingers brush, a shiver, a jolt, a ten-watt shock.
The Coffee God tilts his chin, shouts, “Hey, mind if I take my break now?”
and ducks around the counter without waiting for a reply.
He slips his cigarette between his lips without taking his eyes from mine. I follow him out the door.
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